what did i expect? 

However, i turn to look back, you will always be facing the other way.

to what extent should i keep this up?

undoubtedly, stuttering, there’s no words left for me to say.

i think, it’s time for us to grow.

this time, i want to be strong, strong enough to not let my emotions get unsettled like this.

This is me, slowly, closing in,

but silently, still hoping…

Honesty is a vitrue they say. 

Little things that came up recently had made me realized this fact. I met a guy, let’s just call him Mr. honest, last month. in the short time we’ve known each other, I’ve figured out that he wasn’t liked by many people not because of his personality, but because of his history. Some people are scared of him and what he can do, I think it’s because of his family influence and his uncanny strength, and also the way he communicates with people, but i thought, he didn’t understand the way things are. I guess, being home schooled has prevented him from learning how to socialize with other people other than his family. He doesn’t know how to deepen a conversation without offending anyone, due to the fact that, he was just so honest and to him it was so casual, like breathing. I don’t know why, but i think that’s what drew me in. The more I spend time with him, the more i got to know the real him, His fears and insecurities. his loneliness and his kind but not too showy personality. But there was also a time when he asked me many kinds of things about people.

why do they act this way?

why do they need to do that?

why do they intend to need another person?

why does evrybody judge him?

I guess, there were a lot of things he didn’t understand. but this just made me realize that there were a lot of things that i should learn more too. About the way people move each other’s heart. i never seem to fully see the importance of one’s love. I began to regret things that i had done which resulted to hurt the people that i love. then i began to see, he showed me how to treat another person carefully. So in exchange, I taught him all kinds of stuffs, and based from his words and actions, he was grateful for that, even though he didn’t really say it. we got into a lot of fights and troubles, because he was just so honest and whenever he says his mind, he never feels doubted about it. or should i say, he never feels any awkwardness in expressing his thoughts. he just blurts it out with a flattened tone. And it makes me wonder, sometimes, I never know if he was insulting or complementing me, so i never know how to react.But he didn’t know that he taught me a lot of things too. And it’s the first time for me to feel envy to a guy.

I envy him. I envy his honesty. I envy his perspective in life. But that’s what draws you in. To Him.

“People who think that happiness is something that’s always within their reach. I wonder how happy they must really be?

That woman always gets nervous when she finds herself to be too happy. To that woman, happiness is like blow bubbles we used to play with when we were little. The moment she touches the bubbles carrying the lights of rainbow around her, they burst. In front of happiness, that woman gives up before even reaching out her hand.”

(Source: beguiledbythephantom)

reducto1:

Spamming of my IM3 fanarts! =D

I love the interaction of Tony with that Harley!

Last night, i watched ‘Must Be Love’ with my mum. which is rare, because i never really watch corny movies with cliche plot lines. but my mum made me, it’s her term for ‘quality time together’. you see, my mum, is rarely home, she leaves too early and comes home too late. that’s why, we rarely get to see each other. and she took this chance to make me watch a movie with her.

So the movie is all ‘bout young love and all that stuff, but it(love) is defined in a different way. You see, the Female Protagonist(Patricia or patchot portrayed by Kathryn bernardo) believes in slow mo moments. Because her father told her that when you finally realized that you are in love, the world seems to go in slow motion, and you only see that person at that moment. And that’s how she realized she was in love with her best friend. (it’s cliche, i know)

And then, i asked my mum, if she ever had a slow mo moment with my dad, she actually smiled and said, ‘maniniwala ka ba kung sinabi kong oo?(would you believe me, if i say yes?)’ i furrowed my eyebrows together and thought that does reality even have those kind of moments where it seems like it’s surreal? but at the same time wonderful?

‘bat nakasimangot ka? (why are you frowning?)’ she asked laughing at my face. ‘para kasing hindi totoo.(it seems unlikely)’ i answered with a little bit of curiosity. 

‘well, that’s what i thought at first too, because i’m not the kind of girl who’s into ”hopeless romantic stuff”, but when he came up to me, i completely forgot what i was thinking’ she explained, then i asked her about what happen and how did she knew. she just said that once i experienced a slow mo moment, she’ll tell me. i huffed and we resumed watching the movie. 

okay. this is gonna sound really weird. but i just can’t get this out of my head. ‘Damn’ i dreamt about the same guy for three nights in a row, what strange is, i don’t even know him! and every dream, seems like it’s connected or something, it’s like episodes of some television show. and whenever i dream, he’s always waiting. it’s like he’s waiting for me. which is strange, because dreams are illusions right? and illusions doesn’t have a mind on it’s own. this is strange.